Sigh, I am a hoarder...

Last night, I had this huge urge to organize my closet. What started out as a simple act of putting away clothes in my closet turned into me pulling out multiple boxes of clothing stowed away in random corners of my room. It's really embarrassing the amount of clothes I own. I mean, I have an extra box of shoes underneath my bed as if the shoe shelf that runs across my entire double closet isn't enough. There's a fine line between being resourceful and being flat out hoarding. And I am bordering on hoarding.

When I was younger, it made sense to save. "Why throw away a perfectly good sweater?," my mom, an immigrant, would ask. When my mom, my sisters, and I moved to the states, we literally packed one luggage for each of us. My sisters and I each carried one stuffed animal on the plane. Growing up, it made sense to hold on to the little things we had. I see a lot of this "holding on things" even in our emergency shelter where families are asked to pack one bag each for their stay. You're literally starting over with almost nothing and building a new life. Not that my immigrant experience compares to a family fleeing a violent home. For us, it wasn't a life or death situation; we chose our predicament and planned for it for years. Our move was actually an opportunity that billions of people would kill to have, so for that I'm grateful.

At 25, however, when I have more than enough of what I need, it gets increasingly difficult to argue the "being resourceful" argument. A part of it stems from a good side- the side that wants to go against consumerism. Why throw away something that is still in good shape? It's always easier to throw away things when something bigger and better comes along rather than see the value of what you have. But the reality is, I haven't worn some of these clothes in years and someone else could have benefited from them. At the end of the day, as much as I try to be "counter-cultural" by being an anti-consumerist, my hoarding just exemplifies selfishness more than anything.

So here goes my second new year's resolution. I will not buy clothes this year (except for a few necessities) and I will give up clothes that I don't use. Like last night demonstrated, this will be easier said than done.